Overboard
by readme833
Summary: Castle and Beckett go undercover as newlyweds honeymooning on a cruise ship to catch the leader of a Caribbean drug ring. Set during the early seasons. Please review!
1. 1 and 2

I look awesome. I've got on my swim shorts, my blue floral Hawaiian shirt and my base tan. Oh and my brand new sun glasses. Beckett, on the other hand, still has on her black pants and suit jacket from New York. We're sitting on lounge chairs and she couldn't look less…loungy. I pull out the brochure from the cruise director and start skimming the list of events.

"Okay, we've got three ports of call and two fun days at sea to fill." I say. "St. Thomas is first—scuba or snorkel? I vote scuba!"

Beckett doesn't even look up from file from the office "I don't like swimming."

"You don't like to swim? What are you gonna do at the pool all week?"

She shakes her head, "I'm not going to the pool."

I shrug my shoulders, "You could drink I guess but I should warn you the bar is a swim-up bar."

Finally she looks up from her work, "I'm not going to the pool. I'm not drinking. We're not here to have fun."

"Come on. We're on our honeymoon!"

"Again, it's not a real honeymoon." she says.

You'd think she'd be more excited about her first honeymoon. Including my real ones this would make our trip my third honeymoon. So if anyone should be bored. It should be me.

"Then why'd we get the honeymoon suite? Private dock and fluffy slippers included." I say.

"Because you told the cruise director we were newlyweds."

I nudge her with my elbow, "Admit it, you like the fluffy slippers." She doesn't respond, "Just a little bit?" I pry.

"They are soft." she says.

"Besides, we had to switch rooms. They wanted us to stay in that tiny room with no windows. I couldn't even tell what time of day it was." I say.

"Check your watch."

"Didn't wear a watch." I show off my bare wrist, "I would have had to check my phone which by the way is roaming."

"We'll get you a watch."

"And the old room had two separate beds." I say. "It would have blown our cover."

"We still have two separate beds."

"That are currently pushed together to form a king and have a towel shaped like an elephant on top. We didn't have that in third class either."

"What? Towel origami?"

"Cool right?"

"Let's get to work." she says.

"What's the rush? We've still got the casino to check out. We haven't even hit the buffet."

She drops her file onto her lap, "The man responsible for smuggling drugs into the country via every port of call this ship makes is on board. Possibly responsible for three murders in New York. Most likely armed. And all you can think about is the buffet?"

I hold up the brochure, "And the casino. And the magic show. Please come with me to the magic show!"

"They should never have sent me with you."

"You need to relax." I say, leaning back in my chair, "We've got all week."

"I can't relax. This guy could be anywhere." she says.

"You know what would help you relax?"

"What?" she says.

"Some drugs."

"That's not funny."

"It's a little funny." I say.

Beckett goes back to flipping through pictures in her file, "You're no help."

"Alright. What do we know so far?" I say.

She shrugs, "Not much. We have his initials— JM. And that he was first linked to this ship in January."

"That's six months ago." I say. "No passenger would be on board that long."

"But even workers only work three months on three months off."

"So he passed the baton." I say.

"You think JM is more than one person?"

"Could be. Or he works stateside the other three."

"I just don't get how a man in the Caribbean leads all the way back to murders in New York."

"These guys follow the merchandise."

"Meaning what?" she says.

"Meaning we find the drugs. We find our guy."

"Nobody would believe that I'm a buyer."

"Maybe not you alone." I say. "But couples tend to do some pretty wild stuff on their honeymoon."

"We are not a couple." she says.

"Or I could go with the old honey trap," I say.

"Do I even want to know?"

I lean back in my deck chair, "seduce one woman after another until one finally talks. It would be tough but I'd be willing to do it for the protection of New Yorkers."

"Funny you should use the word protection."

She turns the page and her eyes dart across the paper, "Can I see the file?" I say. "I can't be of much help without a little more background information."

She splits the stack of paper in half and hands me the top portion.

I sift through the top few. It's a lot of old records and some photos. I don't want to look through all this stuff while I'm working on my tan. The file folder alone is blocking my abs from tanning evenly. I just need a quick summary.

"So this JM." I say, "When was the last time he was seen?"

"He wasn't seen exactly. They think he's linked to the murder of the college student in New York three weeks ago."

"How'd they do it?"

"Three gun shot wounds. It was real mess too. There was broken glass everywhere."

The moment she mentions the broken glass the pictures come back to me. The college kid on the ground with blood streaming down his t-shirt; the shards of glass covering every inch of pavement surrounding him.

"Ouch." I say.

She hands me a close-up image of the gun, "We traced the registration on the weapon back to a prisoner in NY. He talked in exchange for some freedom. The guy said these ships are a goldmine."

"How come?" I say.

"It's international waters for one. The islands belong to four different nations. So that doesn't help with jurisdiction. And then there are people from all over the world going to different islands everyday. It makes it easy for people to slip through the cracks."

"With their crack cocaine." I say with a smile.

She looks back at me completely unamused, "It's heroin actually."

"That's a more difficult play on words."

"New York thinks this JM orchestrates the whole thing. Getting drugs off the island and onto the ship."

"If he's a member of the crew we'll never find him as passengers." I say. "Crew has access to tiny corners of this ship we'll never see."

"He has to come out and work his day job at some point." she says.

"But the activity we need to see won't be on deck or at the buffet. The crew has their own cabins, their own club and bar. Not to mention all the maintenance areas. We can't get back there."

"He gets it off the ship somehow."

"Not just off the ship he gets it all the way to New York. Probably across the country. It's brilliant actually." I say.

"How do you figure?"

"Every seven days he gets a fresh batch of naive spring breakers from the states. Some he already knows, some he recruits from the hot tub or the bar. By the end of the week he's got a whole group of baby-faced distributors going to sell his product to little college towns across America. It's genius."

She wrinkles her eye brows, "It's not genius. It's criminal."

"Doesn't stop me from being a little jealous I didn't think of it myself. They don't even have to bypass airport security. Most these kids drive to the port."

"But they still get checked before the get on and off the ship." she says.

"Those guards barely looked at my ID. Not one commented on how my hair was three shades lighter in my Passport picture. And if they check so thoroughly how did I get this on board?"

I reach into my pool bag and pull out my new pocket knife. The sun reflects off it's smooth metal finish. As soon as I hold it up in the light Kate forces my hand back down.

"Castle what are you doing with that?" she says.

"Thought we might need a backup plan in case things went south. South as in poorly not South as in toward the islands."

She doesn't care for that joke either.

"You can't have that here." she says.

I use my towel to wipe the smudges she made off my new knife. "Got it past every single guard."

"Put it away!" she says.

I slip my little surprise back into my bag, "Guess we know who wears the pants in this relationship."

"Again…not a couple!"

A cruise ship worker complete with his own Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts takes a seat at the edge of Kate's chair.

"Excuse me." he says, "Y'all are such a cute couple."

"Thank you." I say. I can't help but notice that while I'm smiling Kate is rolling her eyes.

"Were doing a little version of newlywed competition on deck this afternoon and we're looking for some young couples. Can we count you in?" he says.

Kate gives a quick "No." But I say, "Yes!"

"Great! We love bickering. It brings in an audience. This one time a wife slapped her husband and it felt like the whole ship was watching."

"You might see that again." Kate says.

The worker practically squeals with delight, "That would be amazing."

"What do we win if we win?" I say.

"Five drink tickets."

"Each?" I ask.

"Total. The odd number creates more bickering."

"We'll do it." I say.


	2. Chapter 3

"I'm not doing it." she says.

We're behind the small curtain they set up on the deck. Of course she wants to back out at the last minute.

"Come on! Please." I say.

"No! You go. You're the one who wanted to play The Newlywed Game." she says.

"But I didn't want to play with myself!"

"Most people don't."

"That's not what I meant."

She holds the file in my face, "We've only got three days to track this guy down and then we have to go back to New York. I don't have time for this kind of thing."

"People are supposed to think we're newlyweds. If we don't play along they'll know somethings up. What am I supposed to tell them?"

"Tell them you're wife said no."

"They won't believe I let my wife tell me what to do."

"If they're married they will.

From behind the curtain I can hear the young kid from the crew looking for us. "Mr. Jones," he says, "Mrs. Jones."

I may have told him our names were Mr. and Mrs. Jones."

"He's calling us!"

"I wouldn't have said yes to begin with. We're wasting time just arguing over this."

"Come on. He's waiting. Please."

The kid yells louder this time, "Mr. Jones! We're ready for you. Calling Mr. Jones!"

The kid pokes his head behind the curtain, "There y'll are. You ready?"

I make my eyes extra pleady, "Please?"

She rolls her eyes, "You really want this don't you?"

"Yes!"

She puts one hand on her hip, "Let's get this over with."

The kid takes us to a tiny stage with four chairs. We take a seat in our two. Crew members are still setting up the microphones and speakers while the rest of the passengers barely take notice.

Next to us the other couple sits down. They both have skin that's spent way too much time in the sun and bodies that have spent too much time at the gym. The guy isn't even wearing a shirt just his green swim trunks and flip flops. The girl has bleached hair with dark roots. She's got on a tiny coverup over what I can only assume is a very skimpy bikini. The guy holds out his hand to me.

"So you're the other couple." he says.

American accent. Possibly Californian.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Matt, this is my wife, Jessica."

We shake hands and his wife waves to us, "Nice to meet you." I say.

Matt points back and forth between us, "How long have you two been together?" he says.

I feel a knot in my stomach and turn to Kate, "How long has it been sweetie?"

She shrugs her shoulders and looks down at her hands, "You tell me…sweetie."

I say the first number that comes to mind, "Five years."

"Wow. Five years." Matt says, "That's a long time. Five years ago we were still in high school. Weren't we babe?"

"That's right." Jessica says.

I nod, "You look like you still belong there."

"I don't know about you guys but we're pretty excited about this." Matt says, "We've never been to the crew bar."

Kate looks up from her lap, "The crew bar?"

"Yeah, didn't they tell you?" Matt says, "That's the prize. Five drink tickets at the crew bar. It's supposed to be amazing.

Jessica crosses one overly tanned leg over the other, "We'll let you know how it is."

Kate crosses one of her legs over the other, "Or maybe we'll let you know how the crew bar is."

"I don't mean to sound competitive but Jess and I are pretty in sync. Most people would describe us as inseparable." Matt says.

"Inseparable?" I say. "That's a pretty strong word."

Kate narrows her eyes, "You know what's a stronger word? Soulmates."

"Isn't that two words?" says Jessica.

"Nope it's one. Pretty sure. Sort of sure." Kate says.

"It's one." I say.

Matt nudges me on the shoulder, "Just hope you can remember all the small details about your wife old man…at your age it can be tough."

"Excuse me?" I say.

"He's not old." Kate says.

"Thank you." I say."

"He is however older than me. Six years older. At least. I'm practically your age." she says to Jessica."

The announcer starts to call passengers over to watch the show on the loud speaker. Matt turns to me one last time.

"Let the best couple win." he says.

I look back at his cheap tan and old swim suit, "Oh we will."


	3. Chapter 4

The announcer introduces us to the crowd. Matt and Jessica get a slightly louder applause. I'm pretty sure we would have gotten the better applause had Matt left his shirt on….and had he not swung it around his head as if he were on MTV spring break.

Maybe I should have done that…

The crew hands Beckett and Jessica dry erase boards.

"First question" the announcer says, "Wives, what would you say is the most annoying thing that your husband does? Wives write it down on your dry erase boards. Husbands, no peeking."

I can hear the markers squeak across the boards while the girls scribble their answers.

The announcer holds the microphone up to Matt, "Getting nervous, man?"

Matt smiles and winks at the audience, "I got this."

The crowd cheers grow louder and louder until the announcer hands the microphone to me. By the time the microphone is by my face the crowd is just staring at me.

"How about you sir?" the announcer says.

Sir? Why does he get to be 'man' and I'm 'sir.' I try to match his charm with a wink at the audience. Unfortunately, I've never been the most coordinated winker. So my attempt at a wink looks more like twitch or blink when one eye doesn't get the memo.

"I'm ready." I say.

I think I hear one person clapping. Maybe two people. Nope, just one person with two hands.

When the girls put the boards face down in their laps the competition begins.

"Husband #1," the announcer says to Matt, "Tell me, what would your wife say is the most annoying thing that you do?"

"Uh, that's a tough one," he says, "I'm not really sure. We really cherish every moment we have together."

Cue eye roll.

"But if I had to choose one thing" he says, "It would probably be that I love her too much."

What!? That is not an answer. Can we all agree that is not an answer? But the audience eats it up. I think even Beckett lets out an "Awww."

"Okay, wife number one," the announcer says, "Did you write that he loves you too much?"

The wife puts on a goofy smile and flips over her board. Of course it says, "Loves me too much."

The audience goes crazy and the announcer has to wait until they settle down to give me a chance to speak.

"Okay, Husband #2," the announcer says, "what did your wife say is the most annoying thing that you do?"

Oh crap I hadn't even thought about that.

"Uh," I say, "She doesn't like it when I chew too loudly?"

"Are you asking us?" The announcer says.

"No, no. That's my answer. It annoys her when I chew too loudly."

The audience doesn't applaud. Not even my one person this time.

"Okay," he says, "Wife #2, what did you say is the most annoying thing he does."

Beckett flips over her board. On it she wrote, "Do I have to pick just one?"

Clever. But incorrect.

"That puts Matt and Jessica in the lead! You too are really in sync!"

It gets worse from get the next question right too.

"Husband #2, we still need an answer." The announcer says to me.

"I'm sorry could you repeat the question?" I say.

"Where was the first place you and your wife made whoopee?"

"Wow, that's another tough one." I say.

"Is it?" the announcer says.

The audience laughs and I can feel my face turning hot.

"It's just that we've made whoopee so many time since then it's hard to keep track." I say.

Beckett buries her face in her hands. She's never going to want to go on a cruise with me ever again.

"But our first time I believe was at my apartment."

"You're sure?" the announcer says.

"Yes we definitely made sweet whoopee for the first time at my apartment."

Beckett flips over her board and the announcer practically yells her answer.

"In the back seat of a cop car!" he says, "How could you not remember that?"

"Oh," I say turning red, "That time. Now I remember. My apartment was the first time we did…something else."

Matt just shakes his head at me.

"Ok. That puts Matt and Jessica in the lead two to zero. But we've got a surprise for you all. The last question is for triple points. Get this question and you win all access passes to the crew bar. For this last one we're going to have the husbands write down their answers.

They hand me the board and the marker.

"Ok husbands. For the win, what would your wife say is her favorite flower?"

We write down our answers and Jessica goes first.

"Matt knows my favorite flowers are tulips." she says.

Matt's smile fades and he flips over his board, "I put roses."

"Roses?" Jessica says. "Those make me itch."

"I thought you liked them!" he says.

"Wife #2," the announcer says to Beckett, "Get this right and you and your husband get all access passes to the crew bar. What did your husband say is your favorite flower?"

Beckett looks at me, "We don't really have flowers too much at our house."

"Still need an answer," the announcer says.

"But if I had to pick I'd say my favorite flowers are irises."

I flip over my board to reveal in big black letters, "The Iris."

The crowd cheers. This time multiple people. I think I even get a smile out of Beckett.

"Impressive!" The announcer states.

"She keeps them on her desk." I say, "At home, she keeps them on her desk at home."

"That makes Kate and Rick our champions." the announcer yells. "Give her a smooch for the photographer!"

Kate grabs the tickets and takes me by the arm, "After we get a few drinks."


End file.
